I'm excited to announce the preview of another regular new feature here at DyerTimes. That new feature will be FAG HAG. Yes, it's exactly as it sounds. Some of my besties - being wrangled up by Ms. Amy - will entertainment, enrage, and excite you each week with their - ummm, stuff. Enjoy this teaser of FAG HAG.

Welcome to Fag Hag! Um, what? You want to know what Fag Hag is... Well, obviously it's a 'sister' feature to dyertimes.com!

A snarky, gossipy, opinionated sister, but a sister none the less. We'll feature snippets of interest to, well, us. And most likely you too, I mean, a hag knows her fags, no?

We're still working on weekly features. We won't even touch Tuesdays. Tuesday's are topless. End of story, though there's no reason we can't discuss what dish Kurt has displayed for our consumption.

Who are we? Amy and Natalie - sometimes others. More on us later.

For now, we’ll highlight some of what we’ve enjoyed over the past week.

Comic-Con: don’t pretend you don’t know what’s been going on in San Diego. You do. You have comic books in your closet and you know what LARPing is.

Katie Holmes that was NOT dancing. So You Think You Can Dance? I disagree.

Jon Gosselin, PLEASE stop wearing Ed Hardy. It amps up your douche bag quotient and it’s getting harder and harder to like you.

Healthcare for all? Yes please. Let’s get moving elected officials.
Homo teachers in Milwaukee can share benefits with their DPs!! And if you happen to have stumbled upon this page and gasped at the idea of a homo teaching your kids (which seriously, why are you here?) I know a lot of queer teachers. And don’t worry; they don’t like your children enough to teach them to be gay.

Being an ‘Alaskan Girl’ at least in some small ways, I want to tell Sarah Palin officially, and forevermore to eff off. We get it. You’ve resigned. Fine. GOOD. Shut up.

My soccer team, Blue Light Special, is still in first place! We have our final game on Wednesday. Check it all out here.

Comic-con
Settle down my sci-fi queens. I know this last week was over stimulating.

And damn, for the first time ever, I also gave a crap about Comic-Con. Judge me later. Why did I care you ask? Was it because Johnny Depp, infinitely lovely, made a guest appearance? That was nice. But no, the reason I waded through footage and photos was related to the train wreck of shit writing, questionable acting and bad hair (gawd the hair!) that is the Twilight series. I hate myself a little bit for it but, like a soccer mom who steals her kids’ Ritalin for a high, I’m addicted to the feeling and, seemingly, no amount of shame can reign me in. Previews of New Moon from Comic-Con:

Do you see what I mean about the hair?! Oh, and the screeching girls – they make the whole thing nearly impossible. So, how do I absolve myself of the shame that is associated with my heart-on for these books-turned-films? Glad you asked. I go to laineygossip.com and pray she’s posted mail from a “Twi-hard”. Most make me laugh. Out loud. Some make me nervous. Others- fucking scare the shit out of me, but ALL remind me I have not lost touch with reality and that my while my Twilight affinity still causes me shame, it is under control.

A couple of my favorites:
Jackie A, NYC

Rob

I also absolve my shame with True Blood.
Bite Me: (aka – an invitation to Eric)

I have feelings for True Blood. A heart-on that is big. I’ve got it bad. On recommendation of a friend, I bought and watched (like it was my job) the first season and I was hooked. I will have HBO in 4 days and though the circumstances of my upcoming move are not entirely pleasant, I am genuinely excited to have unfettered access to Bon Temps. Oh Lafayette, how I’ve missed your scandalous ways. He is my favorite character. Obviously, right?

If you haven’t watched True Blood, you are missing out. It is funny, sensual, intense and at times a little scary (I’m not naming names, but a special someone was so scared he broke a wine glass while watching an episode). It’s also an amazing parallel for the fight for civil rights in the LGBT Community. Humorous example? “God hates fangs” Enough said. Watch it. Get back to me.

Until you fork over $45 for season 1 or order HBO, here’s a little clip of what you’re missing also from f-ing Comic-Con. You’re welcome.

Guess who is resigning as Governor of Alaska? No, not Mark Sanford - he should be the other Republican Governor resigning but he isn't.

IT'S SARAH PALIN!

The announcement came at a hastily arranged press conference at her home in Wasilla today in what seems like an attempt to be lost in a slow news day before a holiday. There Gov. Sarah Palin announced that she will be resigning as Governor of Alaska on July 26. Lt. Governor Sean Parnell will then take over after being sworn in at a picnic.

She claims that family was the biggest factor in her decision.

"I polled the most important people in my life, my kids, where the count was unanimous," she said. "Well, in response to asking, 'Hey, you want me to make a positive difference and fight for all our children's future from outside the governor's office?' It was four yeses and one 'Hell, yeah!" And the 'Hell, yeah' sealed it."

It could also have something to do with the scathing Vanity Fair article that just came out.

I'm hoping that she either fades into oblivion or goes back to the beauty pageant circuit.

UPDATED!

I've just added Gov. Palin's speech - it's bizarre and confusing to say the least. She doesn't want to be a lame duck governor? Several people are already wondering aloud if she - or another family member - is pregnant again.

At a rally over the weekend in California, Gov. Sarah Palin offered up this persuasive phony reason for supporting the Republican ticket on November 4. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," she said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

Sipping from her Starbucks mocha, Palin saw the quote just sitting there between her manicured nails. She was so inspired it quickly became part of her new stump speech.

So, what did Madeline Albright think about Palin's use of her quote?

From HuffPo: "Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."

And on a different note, Sen. John McCain is still taking the weekends off from the campaign. Unbelievable.

And, new polls show Sen. Barack Obama ahead in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Minnesota.

** The first Presidential Debate was on Friday. Afterwards each candidate's campaign quickly called a victory for their guy. Having watched the debate I think Barack Obama was the winner - though it was honestly very close. A CNN poll found 51% believed Obama won and only 38% thought McCain won. Most pundits handed this victory to Barack Obama. A USA Today/Gallup Poll also had Obama winning on several fronts.

For those of you that didn't watch three things stuck out to me: 1.) McCain never ONCE mentioned the middle class, 2.) McCain never once looked at Obama during the entire debate, and 3.) Barack held his own on foreign policy against McCain.

** Clay Aiken finally comes out via People cover. Sporting his favorite new accessary - his newborn baby boy - he tells People that, "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things."

** Global warming is melting Arctic sea ice to the devastation of polar bears. The roaming and feeding grounds of polar bears gets smaller every year. In an effort for self preservation these creatures have turned to cannibalism. A male polar bear recently broke into the den of a female polar bear and ravaged her to death.

** Gov. Sarah Palin claimed - reportedly on several occasions - that dinosaurs and people coexisted. She apparently saw a human footprint in the dinosaur footprint. Really?!?!

And two of the latest campaign videos made by and for our great friends - the Jews.

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

** Notorious sex-addict David Duchovny is still in rehab after "voluntarily" checking himself into rehab last week. Claims he did not have an affair on his wife, Tea Leoni, than admits to wrong doing.

** So, do you know what the difference between Sarah Palin and George W. Bush is? LIPSTICK!

** Do you want to help end global warming? A new report from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says that "people should have one meat-free day a week if they want to make a personal and effective sacrifice that would help tackle climate change."

** Michelle Obama dances with Ellen.

** President Bush scraps nuclear talks with Russia. Venezuelan President Chavez invites Russian navy for joint "exercises". Russia getting close to launching nuclear plant in Iran.

Does this not seem like the beginning of a HUGE war? Wake up Americans! John "Trigger-Happy" McCain will get us all killed if we elect him on November 4th!

** Michael Phelps goes wild - shirtless - in Vegas.