** Notorious sex-addict David Duchovny is still in rehab after "voluntarily" checking himself into rehab last week. Claims he did not have an affair on his wife, Tea Leoni, than admits to wrong doing.

** So, do you know what the difference between Sarah Palin and George W. Bush is? LIPSTICK!

** Do you want to help end global warming? A new report from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says that "people should have one meat-free day a week if they want to make a personal and effective sacrifice that would help tackle climate change."

** Michelle Obama dances with Ellen.

** President Bush scraps nuclear talks with Russia. Venezuelan President Chavez invites Russian navy for joint "exercises". Russia getting close to launching nuclear plant in Iran.

Does this not seem like the beginning of a HUGE war? Wake up Americans! John "Trigger-Happy" McCain will get us all killed if we elect him on November 4th!

** Michael Phelps goes wild - shirtless - in Vegas.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. And sometimes bad things happen to bad people. But, more often bad fashion happens to - well, many people. These two have a serious case of fashion DYER-eah!

What in the world was David thinking? So, let's imagine how this happened. Duchovny was minding his business tweaking on some grade-A crystal meth which he picked up from some knock-out Asian transsexual he almost ran over. He's rolling through the hills of Hollywood and gets a flashback to 1991. He's too sexy... too sexy for his pants.

Man, I was HAWT then.. he thinks to himself. Friggin' hawt....

BOBBY TRENDY? OR MICHAEL'S FABRICS CLERK GONE WILD?

Seriously, can you be any higher in DYER-eah than this? This guy looks like he's the seriously delusional, obsessive-compulsive craft store clerk that just saw To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar and took the fashion advice a little bit too much to heart.

Strawberries. Strawberries are red. Wild Strawberries. Red and Wild! I've got it.